The hardest thing so far

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I meet a lot of people, some weird and some really special. This is about one of the specials.

Jackdelyn, one of my supporters, wanted me to write about: ”The hardest thing on your trip so far”. As she asked me I had no clue about what to write, depending on how one writes, even an easy thing can become ”The hardest thing”. I thought about it for over a week when it all of a sudden appeared before my eyes.

Sleeping in unknown people’s homes is something I’ve gotten used to and I have never so far had a bad experience -maybe because I see all experiences as good ones- but this one stands out.

I cycle with the Swedish flag hanging from the back of my bicycle, since we’re a Christian country, way back at least. All the Nordic countries share the same build up of their flag, a cross with different colors surrounding it. I’ve been approached by five men who have all asked; ”Which parish you from?”, thinking I am a priest on a mission, Walker, which this story is based on, was no exception.

He drove up along side me on a country road which went through one of the National Parks in western Louisiana, waved me over to the shoulder of the road and we got to talking. He pointed at his cap which stated: ”I walk with Jesus” and asked me if I go with Jesus as well. My answer was that I am aware of his teachings and that I do not go against them, so I guess I’m with him. A politician answer since, after all, I’m an agnostic in the bible belt. He started shivering and asked me if I had a place to stay for the night. His house was 35 km down the road, same direction I was heading, so after a while I accepted his invitation and put his address in my GPS.

When I got to his house I realized it’s in the middle of nowhere, no cellphone reception and closest neighbor is over 2 km away. I quickly understood Walker was not only Christian, he was on a mission with God, to spread the teachings of Jesus.

Before I get in to what I felt and experienced those 12 hours I want to make it clear that Walker might come off to most people as very ”different”. Regardless, he cooked me dinner, let me sleep in his master bedroom. Walker works with helping others; he gets an objective from God, a mission, and puts his ass in the car and drives to where ever God tells him to go. As he gets to the place he helps somebody, either by giving them money or food, or doing them a favor. He helps everybody, from war veterans to handicapped or probably even children.

As I cycled up his drive way he got out of his car, lit a fire cracker and threw it on the ground, I have no idea why. As it went off he screamed louder than I’ve ever heard a man scream and the echo bouncing back from the pine trees surrounding his property made me raise my eye brows, it was loud. He made it very clear to me that the reason he wears the confederate flag on his now switched out cap is because it’s: “not only the colored people that were slaves, we all are now, so that’s why I wear it, to remind me and everybody ells that we’re slaves to the priests in this country”.

It’s impossible for me to describe what I felt as we got deeper in to talking. He told me that God states in the bible that man should not build houses of worship, because the holy spirit within us, is all we need to get in touch with God and Jesus. God had told him to “cut the head off the priests”, meaning that Walker’s mission on earth now was to disturb and interfere with the priest’s teachings since they’re “full of fucking shit”, so they no longer would be able to teach.

After about an hour we went inside and he put the deer ribs on the stove which he had killed with one of his five rifles, while sitting on the toilet. “This is the only cooking I do, this place is in need of a woman’s touch”, the confederate flag covered one of his windows, the other ones were covered up with military clothes or pieces of card board. Mixed cold and warm fluorescent lights were the only source of light.

I helped him clean up the dishes and then he told me to go out to his car and get the bible that was by the steering wheel. We then had bible studies back and forth over the course of three hours, while hanging laundry and listening to gospel/Christian country music. Walker is a man who is very deeply in touch with his emotions and he could cry one second, laugh the other and bang his hand in the table and scream the next. The spontaneous anger bursts together with natural monologues with God while looking to the ceiling and in presence of five firearms, made me feel very uneasy, to say the least.

In the teachings of the bible he did however have some points which really got to me, about where our world is heading and how accepting Jesus’s wisdom can stop a lot of it but it was too much to take in with the emotional roller-coaster mood. At one point he asked me: “What you doin’ tomorrow?!”

I answered that I’ll be cycling, and probably head in to Texas if the weather allows for it. He stops stirring the soup, throws the spoon on the stove and screams to me: “NOOOO! God has other plans for you, you’re gonna stay with me, and you DO NOT wanna piss him off” He points to the ceiling again. I take a deep breath since this is probably the sixth time in five hours I have to analyze the situation and take in the environment.

Where are the knifes, the wrench in the corner, shotguns in the living room, he told me he broke his right foot two months ago, could he throw the boiling water two meters, how would I take cover? Which windows are easy to break out through, how should I handle the four dogs on the outside? In which direction should I run if I get out of here? Where are the neighbors? Cellphone reception tower 8 km east of here, raining outside I would have to get my shoes on, my knife and pepper spray in left and right pocket… I felt like Jason Bourne in Bourne Identity while he’s at the truck stop. How far can I run in this terrain? How well does Walker now the terrain? If it’s between me and him, I need to win, how do I do it smartest?

The mood-swings got to me but the situation never escalated from there, it went back and forth probably ten more times and I always kept a safe distance. As I cited the bible from a part which I do not remember about a David going on his journey to tell about Jesus and others later followed, I made the association to Walker that I too need to get on my journey and spread my message to the world, the message of love (Jesus). This made it clear to Walker that he had to let me go, even though God had told him to keep me there for more studies and missions.

The food eventually got ready to eat and it was one of the best meals I’ve ever had. I woke up more times that night than I possibly could count and in the morning I took a deep breath and headed for the shower which he insisted on me using. He packed me a lot of food and water for me to get on my mission, since I, in the long run have my own undertaking on leaving this world better than it was when I got born in to it.

I was in a shock like state for over four hours after I left his property, my feelings went from happy to be alive to happy to have experienced what I just went through. No one I know would ever stay with a man of God alone in the woods who has five rifles and an unstable mood. But I did, because I wanted to experience it.

And after all he did teach me about Jesus, love and how we should treat one another. And what made me take it in was that he preached that we all can learn from listening to our heart, put our trust in our selves in stead of putting it to someone who wants money, that we are God’s children and we should only listen to our father, not somebody who has a personal interest in controlling us.

I thank Walker for the experience, it was for me a very, very, very, special one. I learned a lot but I am still agnostic.


Jackdelyn, one of my supporters, wanted me to share the toughest thing I’ve done on this trip so far and the story above tells it: To sleep in a home where I felt unsecure.
If you want to give me a topic to write about or talk about in my Vlogs, become my supporter through Patreon below. For the price of a coffee every month you can help me to cycle independently and share our world, engage in what I should do in specific locations, whom to meet and what to share.

Thank you for reading!

And to you Walker, if you ever read this, thank you for the experience.
You cooked me the best meal I’ve gotten so far and you made me from time to time feel very at home, even though I also felt unsecure about my whole stay. I know this won’t offend you since you told me: “I’m not on this earth to please no man, I’m here to please God”, and you did teach me about Jesus and that I will always carry with me.

You do wonderful favors to the people you help on your missions and with me; you took a stranger in, fed him, gave him a shower and a warm bed. No one has done that on my trip in America so far (unless through a website first) so: Thank you for trusting me, as I trusted you.

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Showing 2 comments
  • Olof Häger

    Hej Marcus,

    Först kom jag över din LinkedIn-profil av en slump och nu har jag läst 3 blogginlägg här. Det kändes urfånigt att inte fullfölja med en kommentar.
    Imponerande resa och ett otroligt exempel på hur din “stake” ger dig erfarenheter för livet. De bekvämaste erfarenheterna minns man sällan länge.

    Fortsätt tro! Inte nödvändigtvis gud som i Walkers fall utan på dig själv och iallafall något – cykla hårt

    • Marcus Perfjell

      Nice kommentar mannen, betyder mycket, du har helt rätt i det du skriver.
      Det enda jag är rädd för är att bli bekväm 😉
      Hoppas allt är gött med dig!

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